Ozpocalypse 2022 Election Diaries #1
w’ bonus Watch the Water rant.
NGL: I wasn’t particularly keen on getting involved in this shady-ass business we call politics.
Things felt like they were really heating up in the conspiracy world, especially as we were officially entering occult sacrifice season. It seemed like the worst possible time to be venturing into normie world — and, in doing so, taking on the Atlas-like burden of acquiring the acute discipline required to present as a respectable and electable member of society. How long can I hide the flat earth stuff for?
Welp, what a difference a month and a cringe psy-op makes. You know what i’m talking about: the serpent-porn shit-show so big you can see the skidmarks from space/the firmament. Watch the Water? How ‘bout watch deez terrain theorist wombat nuts.
Yep, enter stage left Stewie and Bryan: the new controlled opposition dreamteam duo that could perhaps only be topped by getting Alex Jones and David Icke in the same room at once. How did the scriptwriters allow the part where the snake-oil salesman is actually selling anti-snake oil on his website? And people still try to tell me we aren’t watching a movie.
Many others have challenged our reptilian-obsessesed community’s latest rabbit hole with the appropriate scientific rigour, logic and sass. Given I am the surprisingly rare combination of terrain theorist and Qtard, I have my own bone to pick. Not content with forever tainting one of my favourite Q catchphrases, these two stooges have since proceeded to (once again) distract the majority of the tin foil community from the fact that The Germ Conspiracy is the ultimate scam at the heart of this plandemic.
Anyway: as the predictably divisive wash-up (water gettit) continues to unfold, i’m starting to feel better about my brief (hopefully) sabbatical from the conspiracy world. Time to properly lean into this politics psy-op, and launch the long awaited sequel to my MAGA 2020 Election Diaries series.
Let’s try Ozpocalypse 2022 on for size. A glimpse from down under on our readily approaching — albeit quite possible false — Revelations period (sorry to break the bad news, but my favourite YouTube channel is now telling me that we have to wait until 2040 for the real apocalypse, which is a bummer).
How do I even begin to try and describe the Absolute State of Australian Politics? Well, it has to be through memes, doesn’t it.
Let’s start with Scomo, Australia’s current Prime Minister from Marketing. By sitting steadfastlessly on the fence throughout the pandemic — failing to meaningfully oppose freedom-creep pandemic restrictions (including and especially Jibby Jab mandates) while occasionally offering token wet-lettuce condemnation — he has managed to become almost equally ridiculed and pitied by the normie and conspiracy realms alike.
Now, I know what you are thinking: is this our Orange Man Downunder? It certainly is tempting to draw comparisons with Trump, and to some extent the archetypes hold true. However, in this case, we have one key difference: Scomo really is as awful as the globalist-controlled media will have you believe.
In fact, a political cynic would say this is by design: to completely delegitimise the conservative ruling party and thus ushering in yet another fake progressive leader who is really an authoritarian-in-waiting, germ-conspiracy-fanatic at heart.
So: who is Scomo’s (see also: Scummo’s) opposition? Well, may I present to you Albo:
Again we are tempted to look straight to the US, this time to Sleepy Joe, and wonder if Albo too is a clone/hologram/Jim-Carrey-in-a-Mask caricature of a real person. Perhaps too soon — and for Albo, sweet Mercy, we are at least spared the undignified spectacle of a walking, deteriorating dementia patient.
Nonetheless, ffs, if he doesn’t still come with the same level of disappointment and despair.
Luckily, good (or at least promising) signs are afoot. The mainstream media is showing some resemblance of balance in their cheap shots, and both potential PMs remain locked together at record low polling numbers for major parties. There’s a hung parliament kinda vibe in the air, and i’m getting ready to occupy my front row seat.
So, what about me? Well, that isn’t really what this post is about, but safe to say i’m on a steep learning curve.
If you want to know more, I did my first official interview on the Cafe Locked Out podcast, which you can watch here. (Quite devastatingly, when I trimmed the longer video down to just my interview, I fell one second short of the rare quadruple angel numbers of 11.11). The first minute is worth it, just to see me mangle my attempt to say hello, and the subsequent inspection the guy on the other end of the Zoom call gives me.
As a bonus, if you head over to Cafe Locked Down’s Substack blog, you will find some more Ozpacalypse gems like this.
Enjoy, from Downunder, until next time Comrades.